Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
