Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
