im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
