Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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