and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
