I'm really into asian looking animals
True but thats because hes a fetus.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
