shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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