At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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