When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
