Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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