if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
