return my video game
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
