he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
