my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
