oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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