I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
