omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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