I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
