i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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