Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Randomize
