awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
