this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
