Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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