I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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