What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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