My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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