yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Found your dick twin last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
