the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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