maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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