at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
