I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
