fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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