hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
