I'm jealous of your bromance
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
