I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
So apparently I’m into choking now
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