I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
