Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
