so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Randomize
