I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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