nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
