I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
