I want to stick my p in your. b.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
