she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
