In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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