Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
