The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
