stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
