Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
