apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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