porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
