Where is the hickey?
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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