Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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